On september 9th 2009, better known as nine nine nine Alexander Robert Orient was born. It has been said he will elad Uniglory to a new paradise. All Uniglory will rally behind this new messiah to bring about the rise of uniglory. Only the Federation can prevent this horrific event. Citizens, we face a new threat which cannot be ignored. The wave of Uniglory spreading through our Federation must be stopped. Report any Uniglory witch acivity to your local FAM protectorat or FAM Office of Information Anex.
Greetings, yon children of FAM!
Greetings, yon children of FAM! Tis late in the eve and the General doth grow tired, but not too tired to tell a story from his amazing AND glorious past! This is a story he's told his grand and glorious Emperor, and tis a tale that PLEASES the good Emperor!!
Twas a late Summer's nigh' and I was bout to enjoy slumber and lockdown period, when I reflected upon how fortunate it was to be the General of the Grande Federation Against Midgets!!! I fell upon my knees and raised my hands to the ceiling and proclaimed "THANK YOU LORD, FOR BESTOWING UPON ME THE MIGHT AND DESIRE TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, FREE FROM THE MIDGET INCURSION!! THANK YOU, THINE LORD, FOR SUPPLYING ME WITH TANKS, ROCKET LAUNCHER, EXPLOSIVES, ROCKET ASSISTED INFANTRY, MACHINE GUNS, GATLING GUNS, GRENADES, ROCKET ASSITED INFANTRY AND ALL OTHER THINGS USED TO COMBAT THE MIDGET MENACE! And suddenly, to the General's surprise, the sky opened and beautiful light poured upon his face, warming it with love and care. The Lord did present himself to the General! Yes, I say true my children! I would not lie! The Lord DID show himself to your wise and great General! The Lord spoke (very softly, for he cares very much for man, and very little for midgets!!) to me and he said this, my very young followers,
"GENERAL!! YOU DO GOOD THINGS FOR YOUR FELLOW MAN BY SMITING THE MIDGET PRESENCE LUCIFER HAS SO PREDOMINATELY PLACED UPON THE EARTH! I HAVE BESTOWED YOU WITH GREDADES, ROCKET ASSITED INFANTRY, TANKS, BOMBS, GATLING GUNS, ROCKET ASSITED INFANTRY, MACHING GUNS AND ALL MANNER OF THINGS USED TO DESTROY THE EVIL THAT IS THE MIDGET!!"
Now, I say to you my child, I felt a figurative slap in the face, and realized THIS IS THE LORD!! KNEEL FOOL, KNEEL! So I began to take a knee and the Lord cried out,
"NO!!! DO NOT KNEEL, GREAT GENERAL! THOU ART GRANDE AND WISE AND ALL KNOWING!! YOU SHOULD NOT KNEEL BEFORE ME, A HUMBLE GOD, BUT ME BEFORE YOU, A WISE AND EMPEROR SERVING GENERAL!!!
And this I so tell true, childe of FAM. The LORD kneeled before ME!!! Yes, it is so! Then, from a long forgotten place of emotion, a tear did come to my eye. YES! A tear! I tell true. For the General is not just a machine bred for destruction and servitude, though a machine bred for destruction and servitude he truly is!
Then I cried to the Lord, tear in my eye,
"LORD! Your presence is grande and all inspiring, but I can take no more of your greatness. Please, leave the General, let him continue on with his servitude of the Emperor....but should you visit again, take a knee from the start, especially if you are in the Emperor's Grande Commanding Chambers!!"
And the Lord said nothing. He just gave a slight nod, and was on his way. The story I tell you, dear childe, is true. Now, sleep well, for slumber period is upon us, and if you do not slumber, FAM shall rip your still beating heart from you chest...
But, with love dear childe, with love....
How to be a decent citizen of the Federation Against Midgets.
Released by the Committee for Citizenship, article 3.2 SC 5.a
Act nicely to other citizens, but look down upon those not worthy to carry the title of citizen.
Exhibit common decency to all citizens of the Federation, but throw out (beyond the perimeter) those who do not wish to enjoy the safety and honor of citizenship.
Have an awareness of other people's feelings, except those banished beyond the perimeter for they are no longer citizens and thus do not have feelings.
Love. Unconditionally, your Emperor and General.
Care. Unconditionally, for you fellow citizen, Emperor, General, and youngins growing quickly to become citizens or perhaps even Soldiers for FAM.
Forgive- and forgive yourself. It is ok to know that you were once weak and fearful. It is good to remember this humble beginning for it will make you wiser and stronger as a citizen.
Work on making the world a better place, not a more toxic one. By killing as many midgets as possible and distributing the roting bodies to a local FAM send-off station so they can be disposed of properly.
New Song lyrics for Rawhide released.
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Though their limbs are swollen
Keep them midgets rolling
Rawhide
Rain and wind and weather
Hell bent for tiny leather
Wishing my stumpy was by my side
All the things I'm missin'
Good midget love and kissin'
Are waiting at the end of my ride
Strap 'em on (stretch 'em out)
Stretch 'em out (strap 'em on)
Strap 'em on (stretch 'em out)
Rawhide
Slap their butt (ride 'em in)
Ride 'em in (slap their butt)
Slap their butt (ride 'em in)
Rawhiiiiiiiide!
New Wallpaper! Show your undying love for the Emperor and pride in the Federation citizen! Remember, patritoc acts such as adorning your computer with official Federation desktop wallapapers will help you get that step up against your co-workers. CPA registered magistrates are always watching. Click the thumbnail for a full image then right click and click save as
Geckos for FAM! Geckos have banded together in support of the Federation Against Midgets, they do this under the leadership of Supreme Gecko Overlord known only by the name of "StinaUIUC". It is said that means Devour of Midgets in gecko, something slightly different in snake. But who likes snakes anyway.
Righteous Propaganda for your computer!
Here are some wallpapers for your computer, click on the small image and in the new window right click on it and click on "set as background".
This is work in progress, so stay tuned for changes!
The old FAM pages we're recently recovered after years of solitude, wasting away under millions of virtual pounds of porno and vagisil ads. Those pages have been resurrected, renewed, and ultimately have given birth to the site you see now.
