How to Join

To join the Federation Against Midgets, all you have to do is ... well, swear your allegiance to thine Emperor and stab yourself once in the pancreas. With your bloody commitment to FAM you'll recieve all the benefits that someone with no soul recieves, since you'll be giving us your soul (don't worry you won't miss it that much). Like:

Free child support, for those you gave birth to!

Free nights stay at any of these fine hotels!

• The BignCheesy
  
• Eric Kurtis's backyard
  
• The main garage of the Colorado Springs area Express Lube
  
• Any Motel 6
  

A premium high quality box of Tomb Raider star, and every nerd's favorite wack-off girl, Lara Croft!

A Sega Saturn core system!

A newsletter describing FAM current events and death toll lists!

A valid Colorado driver's licence!

The box office smash Of Men And Mice, starring Gary Sinese and John Malkovich.

And last, but not least, and my personal favorite, a years supply of Mike and Ikes, for all those times you really needed them! Such as on the highway when you notice that someone has violated the rules of the road.

If you want more then don't join. If you actualy thought you were gonna get any of this, you lose!

So join now what are you waiting for! JOIN NOW!!